Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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