What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
