Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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