Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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