I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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