You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We are all done wearing pants today
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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