dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i believe in u and ur pee
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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