so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize