you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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