at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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