Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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