Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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