I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
