He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
