I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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