I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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