Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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