Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
