do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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