I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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