Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight