I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!