erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.