Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.