I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.