I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Operation Purity has been aborted
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
How external is "for external use only"?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.