I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life