Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize