sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Pants are for mortals
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
