I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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