just come out here and I will go home with you...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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