There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
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What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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