i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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