you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
