my computer doesn't work...
i puked on it last night
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My Sexting was not on an AP level