The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.