im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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