dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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