ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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