It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.