do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
