Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
