hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
