Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Green mimosas i think yes
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Randomize
