i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.