When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!