Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I could fuck to npr.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.