Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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