Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I smell stomach acid.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
