Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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