I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
