SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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