I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant