DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead