I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me