she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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