just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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