I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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